update

So it's been a long time since I last posted. I've had 2.5 weeks to think/cry over the announcements that happened within the same hour 2 Sundays ago. I'm still NOT okay with either of them, but am not feeling sick about them anymore.

1. My 22 yr old sister is pregnant.
2. My parents are separating.

I'm devastated over my sister. I don't know if it is because Brian & I are already trying to have our own kids, but I really can't even talk/look at her without wanting to cry. I wanted nothing more than for our family to be the first to do things the "right way" and now it's pretty much all ruined. I know I may sound selfish, etc.. but I really wanted to make my mom a grandma first. I feel now that if I do get pregnant it won't be as exciting because everyone will feel that I am just pregnant because my sister got pregnant. No one in our family knew we were trying yet because we wanted everything to be a surprise. The first thing my cousin said to me was "you better not get pregnant now because you have to support your sister".

I don't think I should feel this way, but I really can't help it.

That is pretty much the news I've got & AF just showed up so onto the next cycle.

that which does not kill me, will make me stronger..

oh the irony of my last post.

baby boom 2008

Warning: baby talk!

The worst thing about WANTING to be pregnant, is everyone around you being a fertile myrtle. Don't get me wrong, I'm estactic for all my friends who are knocked up and I know not all of them got pregnant in one shot (although it seems that way). I just want to join you, that's all.

This is where my planning gets the best of me. Right now I'm trying to plan a vacation for next winter. I keep stopping and thinking, I could be XX weeks pregnant by then if I get pregnant this month. I just need to chill (and I know this, so I'm working on it) and let things happen the way they are intended to happen. Far easier said than done, my friends.

In the mean time...I'm going to just keep praying to the baby making gods that this is my month...and not plan any vacations for April of 09!

Vacation

I have decided I am not driving down 77S for at least 5 years. I must now only vacation where planes can land or find alternate routes.

Vacation was nice, pretty low-key and the usual bickering between siblings. Let's recap:

Our Home for the week

I got my butt kicked in go-karting.

Saw a beautiful sunset


Went putt putting.


Hung out on the beach



Jet skied. Although I wouldn't let Brian dump me off the back so he was not happy.

Brian & I on the pier.

Now, onto the next trip: Portland, OR for Ben & Cassie's wedding. Can't wait, since I've never been to the west coast.

Next Friday Brian & I are participating in a golf scramble with his mom & stepdad. I have never stepped foot on a golf course, so it should be pretty interesting. I did get Brian to agree to me getting a "golf" outfit. I have to look cute if I don't know what the heck I am doing!